The Zombie Apocalypse (marches on…)

Here in Chicagoland, May is trying to leave the frost warnings behind, then keep getting warmer until its time for, well, meteorological forces to conform to their (contemporary) nature. It’s been fairly predictable, in any part of the world, as to recorded historical seasonal changes. Of course, in the 21st century, the climate issue has reared up, with most climate scientists agreeing that humankind has helped in adversely messing with the forces of nature. Cause and effect. You know, greenhouse gases, depletion of the ozone. Carbon emissions. Fossil fuel dependence. Methane gas build-up, much of which comes from gazillions of bovines “passing wind”. That bodily function may seem a part of mammalian nature (hey, humans and other critters all poop. And fart. And those cows they can really cut loose). Meat eaters of the world demand more and more cow flesh. In the first-world countries, with the massive marketplaces with animal flesh for sale, whether fresh, frozen, tubular-style encased, or canned it is amazing what variety of meat is available. That fork of bovine bliss about to go down your hatch no doubt added lots to the methane factor in climate change before it felt the “it’s not personal, just business” slaughterhouse blade. Hope its demise resulted in a tasty meal… didn’t give you gas.

Supply and demand. What’s for dinner? Steak. Burgers. Oh, and Elsie the Cow knows what other beef dishes one craves. Whatever it is, it’s for sale. The slaughterhouse uses every part of that animal except its “moo” as they say. Oh, and never mind the deforestation factor in breeding and feeding all those future rib-eyes and sirloins, Big Macs or Moby Jacks, Whoppers, Whataburgers , Sliders and more. The consumer wants. The consumer gets. What’s to think about? Cow farts are changing the climate for the worse? Ha. Hey, where’s the ketchup and when is Game of Thrones on? Where’s that remote…?

Here in the U.S. of A., where consumerism/corporatism is the blood that courses through its capitalistic veins, it would appear that we the people certainly do consume, seemingly as though another force of nature–we consume lots of new material stuff that inevitably, thanks to that ticking clock, turns to junk: junk electronics, junk household furnishings, cars (still mostly gas guzzling), doodads, baubles, bangles, bric-a-bracs, trinkets, and countless items from one mall or virtual mall or another, most of which is coming from bottom-feeder importers (exploiting its workers with slave wages, but again, it’s about making product and profit. It’s not about humanity, other than their being willing or unwitting participants in an ever more heartless modus operandi).

Then there’s the junk food (made of cow parts and other critters, processed to please the palate if not prolong one’s life). Yes, time will turn all things to junk eventually. It certainly is a global marketplace, but the U.S. is pretty much ground-zero for mindless consumption and waste. Consume, throw away, consume more, throw away;  unbridled, brain-dead behavior fueled by slick, button-pushing, emotional appeals via marketing and advertising.  Gotta have the latest this or that. Apple, Samsung  zombies and such. Consume, create trash, waste, but in spite of the documented decline in our environmental health, not always cast aside responsibly. Landfills. Garbage barges. Plastic bags dangling from cable wires, trees, building antennas. Billions of  cigarette butts that’ll never get policed after that long last addictive drag. Of course, the companies that make the junk-to-be are given legislative cover to pollute and contaminate Mother Earth, as it depletes her resources in the name of profit. As Gordon Gecko famously said: “greed is good”.

And so, now those scores of climate scientists insist our planet is now sick. Mother Earth has a fever. Her temperature is rising. Ice caps are melting. The ozone is ripped open . Pollution above, and under our feet. How did she acquire her infirmity? Has she been imploding on her own?  Has Earth’s life cycle about run out in a natural death spiral? I doubt that. I, again, vote for humankind as the primary  virus that has compromised her immune system. You might say we’re a cancer that’s on its way to killing its host. But how much attention is being paid by John and Jane Doe regarding Mother Earth’s evident convulsions? Apparently, not nearly enough, by a long shot. And some people–science be damned–deny there’s even a problem. Some of these “climate deniers” hold significant positions in corporate America and in our national government, offering a non-scientific second opinion. Freak show. The worst corporatist government corrupting money has long since bought and now owns.

Ma Nature! What have these humanoids done to you?

Quick! Nurse! Get a 5,0oo,ooo, ooo cc syringe full of the medicine that counteracts stupid, lazy decision-making: a critical listening and thinking booster shot!  Quick, before it’s too late! It’s the anti-zombie antidote. It’s our only hope!

The air may be fouled and the water a bit brown or brackish but look, over there: and more  zombies, the ones who have messed up the political marketplace that now, too, needs remedy. Consumerism in the marketplace and in the ballot booth. Not a lot of smart choices being made lately (as in the last 50 years or so, methinks).

That is to assert, we the people now must face the consequences of decades of mindless, careless, even flat out stupid political decisions, and it may be too late to avoid a very creepy catastrophe: The 2016 presidential election looms ever larger, along with control of congress. That’s too short a time for Mother Earth to expire thanks to the aforementioned consumerism and related climate consequences, so if we’re not going to die of toxins in the air, water or that rib-eye, we’re going to have to deal with looks to be a chaotic, extremely volatile political climate first (though the non zombie-brained person already knows that the election results will certainly help or hurt our ailing planet). And this looming debacle is essentially the fault of a dumb and ever larger, dumber population of mindless, self-absorbed, instant gratification, short attention span, easily duped and deceived citizens of the richest, most powerful country to hold a sizeable chunk of Mother Earth’s real estate. We here, again, in politics, are a self-destructing pernicious, brain-eating virus that has resulted in a government, which for decades now, has been infested with variously manifestly insane, inane, racist, sociopathic, xenophobic, oligarchic, predatory, hypocritical, corrupt, inept, incompetent, misogynistic, exploitative, vile, venal, callous, and murderous (as in gutting environmental, public health, worker safety, prescription drug and such crucial legal protections. People die as a result of these dispassionate decisions. I call that murder); It’s an absurdist parade, decades long, of political vermin getting elected again and again, and again, who toss crumbs to the working class and  caviar to the so-called 1%-ers. You’d think by now the working stiffs would revolt, but someone is voting for the status quo or never bothering to vote at all. What we now have are political charades reported on with the same lazy approach as the water skiing squirrel , devoid of substance, relevance or rational analysis. Our elections are just another example of media perversions like the Kardashians, the Osbornes, Paris Hilton or The Apprentice. Look!  Isn’t reality crazy good?  “The News”. All covered without a shred of irony or one iota of meaningfulness and certainly with no desire to seek accountability (can you say Wall Street?) in matters that beg for old-school, investigative journalism.

Of course, this bland, banal, sensation-seeking media has given birth to Donald Trump, now running for President, recently an illogically over-watched reality show host, and now among the worst of the low hanging, rotten political fruit (cakes). The rot started, again, decades ago. Trump, the logical progression from having been offered empty-suited choices that have for so long, at many levels of our government, be it executive, legislative or judicial, statewide, county-wide and even the ward heelers in your hood, but having been wrong-headedly elected to office, or in some cases gaining office by theft and/or rigging voting maps, abetted by that lap-dog media, and creating an echo chamber of prevarication, cheap emotional appeals, divide and conquer tactics, smear campaigns, which apparently raise virtually no red flags or result in harsh learning of lessons by the consumer/voter. Again, accountability?  The people demand change? Hope and change? Sorry, but again, these dire circumstances, be it for our planet or our political fortunes, are the result of the same viral/brain-dead zombie/consumers doing what they do best. Make stupid decisions. We all must make choices. But how do we assess what to choose, be it in the commercial marketplace or the polling booth? Choose Trump? Trump? Trump?!

The zombie apocalypse has been decades in the making. Now our planet and our politics are gravely ill. The only hope is that critical listening/thinking antidote but who wants to be told they’re making really poor, irresponsible choices in life? People, in so many cases, vote directly against their best interests.  And then do it again.  One-issue voter-idiots; those who love style and seem not to notice the Emperor has no clothes.  Reagan, the union busting, original all style, no substance, media creature. Bill Clinton, the Democrat (!)who championed NAFTA and its job killing trade deals, and who gutted social/welfare programs. Then George. W. Bush who was inserted into the White House by the right-wing faction of the Supreme Court when it told Florida to stop counting ballots. His Iraq war based on lies. Was he trounced by the Democrats when he ran for re-election? No, somehow the people let his disastrous policies roll, as the imbedded media went along for the ride. And if only Barack Obama wasn’t so willing to try  and “reach across the aisle” to his intractable Republican enemies from Day One, and used his brief but very real Democrat-controlled congress to do what he was elected to do. Instead, the wars go on, no single-payer health care, no immigration reform, no Wall Street CEO’s held to account for ruining the lives of scores of American workers. What “two party” system is it we’re supposed to have? What checks and balances?

And now, while the ice caps melt and the planet’s fever worsens, somehow we have the billionaire, orange-haired, blowhard who specializes in bilious insults of women and minorities who is possibly going to be the next President, a person who is so ego-deranged he has even has asserted, in front of cameras and microphones, that he could shoot a person dead in mid-town Manhattan and not lose favor among his (zombie) supporters. This man is the nominee of the Republican party for President?

Then there’s the ex-First Lady Clinton and her corporate-controlled campaign and the Democratic Party trying to prop up her candidacy at the expense of any meaningful debate of her merits compared to a certain “democratic socialist” running against her for the Democratic nomination. She has millions of followers, too. And Super Pacs. And working class zombies lapping up her stealthy corporate candidacy . Zombies making choices without the least bit of serious analysis. Hillary the Hawk. Hillary, who hauls in 250K a speech in front of Wall Street Wolves. But she swears she’s all about the working stiffs.

And we come to that SOCIALIST, Bernie Sanders, who at nearly age 75 speaks about how it’s time for real change. “Enough is enough!” is his mantra.  No corporate donors to his campaign. Break up the big banks, he says. Kill the disastrous trade policies supported by both republicans and democrats. Make health care and education VERY affordable. Lessen spending on the military. Accountability! The man sounds as though he actually uses his intellect quite sincerely and with magnanimous intent. Holy crap!  He has millions of followers too, but given how the zombies have allowed our political environment to become so damaged, so far removed from a critical thinking, common good, sensible and logical reality, it appears things still need to get worse before the larger, zombie contingent is neutralized if not exterminated and the vast majority of people begin to think about choices and consequences. Stop and breathe-in the fresh, healthier ideas of a real man of the people.


Wake up, people!  Haven’t enough of you grown tired of the our long running Zombie Apocalypse,  Super I-Max reality show?

Let’s Bern some incense. Take deep breaths. Open your eyes and listen and think. It might clear your muddled minds. Maybe even save the world.






About jharrin4

mass communication/speech instructor at College of DuPage and Triton College in suburban Chicago. Army veteran of the Viet Nam era.
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1 Response to The Zombie Apocalypse (marches on…)

  1. catt23 says:

    This clarion call should be heeded by the non-zombies among us. As comical as cattle farts may sound to the unknowing, their devastating effects on this planet are very real, as pointed out here. The cumulative and manifold effects of heedless consumerism are dire. Let’s hope the thinking among us wake up and act, while there is still air to breathe.


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