This has got to end.

I agree. But nothing seems to work.

You haven’t really tried much, so of course nothing seems to work. How can you get nothing from nothing?

What are you talking about? We’ve tried.

You’ve tried nothing, except express you want it to end. You and your friends talk the talk but…well, you know. What about the walk?

We are being consistent with our message. We disapprove of what he and his people are doing and demand them to stop. To work with us.

Work with you?

Yes. We believe in diplomacy.

Diplomacy? Is that what you consider “doing something”?

Well, recently we used our position of power to threaten action if things don’t improve. They hear us.

Oh, they hear you, for sure. But they aren’t listening. You need to take action.

We will. We’re getting close to using our power. They know it.

They know you are all talk and no action. As you have been for ages. Give me a break, okay?

What? We have put them on notice. It’s within our right to take the most desperate of action if they don’t stop doing…

Stop doing? That’s a laugh. They are mocking you and your “posse”. You aren’t about to file charges. You’re going to bring them to justice, is that what you think? You just talk. No action.

I’m telling you we are SERIOUSLY considering taking that action. We have the power to do so.

And don’t forget, you have a duty to take some action to stop their wrongful actions.

We know that. We’re about to pounce!

You have told him and his people that they must undergo questioning, and that they can’t say no. Except they do just that. In fact, they seem to be saying go fuck yourself rather than comply.

I don’t think you understand.

What don’t I understand? You tell them stop. They don’t. You say now you have notified they must come in for official questioning. They say go fuck yourself…essentially.

Well, that’s not going to continue. We have that power, and they know we can act on it. They won’t be able to refuse to cooperate.

They’ll say fuck off again. How predictable can you and your homies be? They refuse to act when you tell them they must but they continue to act any damn well they please. They walk all over you. They laugh in your face.

Look, we’re this close to taking that drastic action. So, back off.

Ha! So, the first real action you plan to take is the most drastic, eh? Why not do it right now then? And then, for crissakes, at least you’ll have done that. What are you still waiting for? You look like fools.

We are anything but fools. They are playing right into our hands. We just need to be certain the time is precisely right. We don’t want to be seen as unreasonable.

Unreasonable?! They are shitting all over you and your friendos, and you worry about being perceived as unreasonable. You are nuts, you know?

Look, what if we act too fast on that action, before we know we can win and…

You aren’t going to win shit with your approach. They’ll eat your lunch, the way you are always playing defense. What is this, some form of fantasy “rope-a-dope” strategy?

We are NOT playing defense. They will lose, mark my word.

Sure.

You’ll see. But we can’t act hastily. They might come out looking as though we’re being too aggressive and we can be seen as bullying them.

Ha. You are more than nuts. You’re insanely bat-shit crazy. You are playing to lose. As always.

You are making it seem so simple.\

It IS simple. Take the offense for once. You tell them they’re officially going to have to comply with that ultimate action taken. And if they don’t comply with the rules, if they refuse they will be in contempt. See. You–for ONCE–get aggressive. Call them out. Most people will will see that you are being the responsible ones, and they are irresponsible. You might actually win. For once.

But they can still block us. We don’t have the numbers to guarantee we can win.

You are still thinking defensively. Look, if they use their numerical advantage to stop the outcome you are seeking, you don’t just get frustrated, you take further action.

Like what?

Like clearly revealing that it is only because they have a technical advantage that they can still act irresponsibly. Take to the airwaves. Beat that drum. Bash away.

Their culpability would be obvious to anyone.

No it won’t. You have to explain it to anyone and everyone. And forget about their supporters. They’re not anyone and everyone. There are a lot of people who don’t like them. They just don’t give a shit. You have to make them give a shit.

How?

By making it clear that it is only because of that technical advantage that they can block you from getting the job done. Make it clear that they are the ones who are protecting him instead of seeing that they have a responsibility to finally end this farse. This fraud. Don’t worry about looking like a bully. If you think that way, you’ll come off that way. And then guess what?

What?

You lose. Again.

You make it sound so simple.

It actually is! You’re suppose to protect everyone. You know, work for that “common good”. They sure don’t, so it’s up to you and your pals to…do…IT.

But it’s still risky. If we lose then…

Self-fulfilling prophecy! All of it. No wonder you always lose. You have lost the battle before it’s even fought.

You’re not being being very helpful.

Yes, I am. I explaining to you how to win. For once.

We will win. You’ll see.

Ugh. No, you need to see. Stop worrying about being polite or proper or cautious or “respectful” or whatever you think has to be your guidelines. This is like a razor-sharp knife fight. And you keep bringing a plastic “spork” into the mix.

What’s a spork?

\Yikes. A spork. I think Mork from Ork brought with him when he landed here.

Who’s Mork. Where is Ork? What the hell are you talking about?

It was a sit-com from the late 70s. Robin Williams? But forget it. You miss the analogy. Try this one. They bring a knife. You bring a machete. Chop chop.

That’s a terrible analogy. So violent.

Well, I hate to tell you this but they already are using a machete. You better bring a Beretta.

What’s that?

Hmm. Ya know what?

What?

Looks like you are going to lose. But not if you take at least some of my advise. Try it. They might be so taken aback they will stumble and babble and look the fools they are.

They are fools.

Right. But they are fools who think they are wise. So, get wise, okay?

Wait, I still don’t know what a spork is?

Enough. Stop threatening action. Be the action.