The Other Guy

Greetings, earthlings. I come in peace and wish you no harm… ************************************* No, it’s not Zeldar from Zardoz. It’s just Joey Baggadonutholes. However, if I were a life form from another planet, and was able to furtively assimilate myself amongst the locals, I’d be at a loss for words based on empirical methodology as to assess what my alien eyeballs perceive. How can this world find its way out of the darkness that besets it? You know, those “existential threats” known as climate chaos plus a lethal global pandemic. Oh, and in the US of A, there’s racial tensions escalating and election chaos. Well, now it’s post-election denial of reality with sulking and sinister motives lurking on the part of the losing side. ********************************** The pandemic is more pervasive than ever, with infections spiking far and wide. Some global outposts are reaping the benefit of getting tough with the virus, requiring its citizens to follow the science and get ahead of the spread. Well done. But those are the exceptions not the rule. In the U.S. we have not exactly taken care of pandemic business. Why? Well, that has to do with our lack of national leadership. Non-existent leadership actually, which now has officially been taken to task by the November 3rd election. It took five days but the candidate who campaigned on not being the other guy has been declared the winner. The “other guy” still hasn’t conceded. And he gets to keep those nuclear launch codes until January 20, 2021. It may as well be eternity, given how much more damage he clearly intends to inflict to offer a reply to a bruised and swollen ego. Nuke Iran? Invade Canada? Invoke martial law? ************************************* …oh whatEVER. Aren’t we all exhausted with this bullshit by now? Okay the guy who isn’t that other guy won. But he comes off as a stiff. He looks like a stiff. As in a corpse. He’s the Mothball-in-Chief elect. Mothballs. As in protective storage. He’s the Dead Horse I alluded to a few blogs ago. Now the dead horse is going to take over and lead us out of all that darkness. Sure he will. He’s going to eradicate the pandemic. He’s going to reverse climate chaos. He’s going to get single payer health care passed. Free education guaranteed. Student debt forgiven. Raise taxes on the uber rich. Crack down on cronyism and pay to play. He’ll get campaign finance reform in motion. He’ll do it because polls show that’s what the people want and because he’s not that other guy. Of course. That’s what got him elected, right? Close to 80 million people voted for not the other guy. It was an enthusiastic outpouring of the electorate saying to the guy who hoped to get a second term that they would vote against him. And so, the other, other guy wins. Why? Because he isn’t that guy. And so, as asserted above the new, not the other guy, guy must realize what this country wants and needs. Sure. He’s going to be be a real reformer. *********************************** And I really am Zeldar. Sure. *********************************** And we who didn’t vote for that toxic other guy can live happily ever after. Every day will be a Norman Rockwell painting come to life. Why? Because compared to that other guy the new guy will always not be that other guy. *********************************** And I know where Jimmy Hoffa’s body is. *********************************** What? Climate collapse? Coronavirus? Mothballs has us covered. He was hand-picked to be an alternative to that other guy. That’s all that matters. You want more than that? Ha. You’re in the wrong country if that’s what you expect. Why so cynical, Mr.not Zeldar guy? Joey Baggabulljive guy. Okay, here’s why: while the other guy who beat the other guy may have won, his party lost more than it won in the bigger picture. And of course the Mothball Party failed miserably to win important House and Senate seats, or flip any statehouses their way, because the Mothball Party–otherwise known in this corner of the blogosphereas the Dead Horse Party simply lived down to its well established expectations. Only the repulsiveness of that other guy paved the pathway to a top-of-the ticket victory. C’mon. Who in the hell was excited about the other guy who wasn’t that other guy? *********************************** Keep in mind, 2022 campaigning has already started. Now that a corpse is the leader of the Dead Horse Party, I have a feeling that...thatwell to hell with it for now. ************************************ We can still feel better knowing that, for the time being, that other guy is the loser and he can suck on that. The Corpse and the Cop are coming, because someone HAD to win, right? Maybe they won inspite of their status quo platform, but regardless the people have spoken and they had a clear message–not for the winning couple but for all the Maga mopes and dopes, dupes and dimwits who support him: fuck off! ************************************ That’s the best result of the election no matter what else ensues. After all, the future isn’t January 20th. It is, as always, now. Kick back and enjoy watching the suppurating sore loser and his brain deads deal with a nightmare of their own now. ************************************ In the immortal words of Jackie Gleason, How sweet it is!

About jharrin4

mass communication/speech instructor at College of DuPage and Triton College in suburban Chicago. Army veteran of the Viet Nam era.
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1 Response to The Other Guy

  1. A refreshing take on a bleak topic. May Zeldar return!

    Like

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