Help wanted. Experience preferred but will train; election monitors, local, statewide and national. Rebuplican Party of the United States. Especially in need of the following:

Rustlers, cut throats, bounty hunters, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, idiots, morons, scumbags, racists, rapists, vipers, snipers, con men, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse theives, train robbers, bank robbers, shit-kickers, counterfeiters, hide peelers, mauraders, slackers, barbarians, deadbeats, hacks, knaves, dunderheads, fops, ruffians, rascals, scalawags, miscreants, hooligans, sociopaths, psychopaths, deviants, blackguards, henchmen, and snakeoil peddlers.

Send resumes to: 1600 Mar-a-Lago, Florida. Deadline November 1, 2026