Believing is Seeing.

Is it over yet?

Is what over?

You know.

I do?

Yes.

No, I don’t.

Yes. You do.

Okay. I do.

You know you do. You helped make “it” happen.

I did?

You know you did.

I do?

You know damn well you do.

What did I do?

You got sucked-in.

I did?

Fucking right you did.

Sucked into what?

IT! You helped create this mess!

Are you referring to…

Of course I am. What else is there?

Hey, I thought it was the right thing to do.

You did, eh? And what about now?

Now? It’s a work-in-progress. You call it a mess. Not me.

Progress? Interesting word to choose to sum up the current mess.

You’re so pessimistic! Ya know, you need to get over it!

Get over it?! That’s a lame thing to say.

Lame? You are all a bunch of sore losers.

Losers? And you think you all actually won? You lost and you know it.

We won. And you know it!

Oh, really? If you call this mess winning, then what the fuck does losing look like?!

It looks like you when in front of a mirror. Ha!

See. You’re all so goddamn lame. You can’t see the mess, and it’s right in front of you. It was staring at you back then, and still you went ahead and ate it up.

You need to stop listening to those voices in your head. You need therapy.

I’m in therapy, if you don’t mind.

Ha! I knew it. Feel better?

Hell no. Therapy is a joke.

So, why do you do it?

Because, I like the therapist. Easy on the eyes.

That’s superficial.

Everything is superficial. Except for this mess. That you helped create. It permeates everything.

Uh. Your “mess” is my delight. A work-in-progress. You’ll see. We won. You lost. Otherwise why did you start therapy? You can’t handle the truth?

The truth is I started therapy to avoid conversations like this one!

You started this conversation.

I know, but I thought you were someone else. Someone I liked.

Who did you think I was?

Nobody, really.

I’m a nobody?

No, the other person I thought you were is actually really nobody.

That sounds crazy.

Well, what the fuck. With this mess staring me in the face everyday, day after day after day.

That is pure whacko, okay?

All I can say is you’ll see. Some day.

I see.

You will.

How will I know when some day comes?

When the twisted voices in your head are silenced and replaced by rational thought.

Rational thought. That’s what this is all about? Who’s to say what is rational and not so rational?

It should be obvious you’re not rational. Look at the mess around you. Can’t you let your mind see it?

All I see is this face in the mirror! I don’t like this face anymore! And I don’t like talking into the mirror anymore. I’m through with this. I’m through feeling messed up about what I did. Shit, it’s almost time for my session. I’ll tell my therapist that the “talk to the mirror” strategy is not working too well. Or maybe it does help. Uh. Things are so messed up!

About jharrin4

mass communication/speech instructor at College of DuPage and Triton College in suburban Chicago. Army veteran of the Viet Nam era.
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1 Response to Believing is Seeing.

  1. Mirror, mirror on the wall, are we now in the greatest mess of all?

    Like

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