It Could Be Worse

Mother Earth. Everyone’s orbiting home. All species. The birds, quadrupeds, plants, insects, fish and humankind. From whence did this wonderful place called home come? I mean, all that we see, smell, taste, touch or hear exists because we have a livable atmosphere, perfectly placed in distance from a ball of fire around which we rotate, with much of our planet quite livable.

You may already assume this blog will again bemoan the climate science’s irrefutable evidence that our Earth and it’s livability are in decline. That is true. And if you are a critical thinker, you already are aware of this reality. I have nothing to add to any of it.

However, consider how bad things were, say about 3 billion years ago, as you sit and sip your favorite beverage or chow down your daily dinner. No, seriously, if you think our climate is spiraling downward, this blog is meant to convey nothing new to you, the critical thinker, consumed with concern about such a reality. We are supposedly in a “sixth mass extinction” after all.

Those 3 billion years ago, the planet was essentially one big rock covered in magma oceans, buffeted by comet and asteroid strikes. Continents were formed by convulsive subterranean upheavals, only to be torn apart; mountain ranges appeared, then disappeared; ice caps spread, then receded. Talk about climate chaos!

The next 1.5 billion years included the formation of evermore complex animals. Research has more recently shown that microscopic fossils of bacteria-organisms, single-cell protozoans and algae date as far back as the far end of that first three billion years ofEarth becoming more and more a place for life to evolve and selectively flourish. There is also–according to research documenting a timeline of evolutionary life on Earth–a period of about a billion years when Mother Earth was more static than dynamic, taking a break from doing anything much of importance. Much like our Congress. This period is noted as“the boring billion”.And you thought a pre-pandemic reality had already become a distant, hazy memory, a blurred sense of time standing still.

So, there you go. It could now be worse, I mean, what if Earth never permitted a modern mode of life, like drive-throughs, no instant gratifications and short attention-span theater mindsets. Life in Maslow pyramid basement. Is it even fathomable? We’d also not have: Cable TV and 800 empty calorie channels. No superhero movies littering the cultural landscape. Amazon would not even be a river let alone a soul-crushing corporate behemoth. No avocado toast! No Internet, But then no cyber hackers, crypto currencies, no hackers stealing what we barely have, no hustlers, no wingnut conspiracies spread other than by grunting emphatically with malice in the eyes, no political corruption!, no January 6 Committee, no insurrection to warrant the 1-6 Committee, no Orange Bloated Blob to instigate the insurrection in the first place; there’d be no banana republics banning books and spewing hate and divisiveness. There’d be no George Orwell saying I told you so from the grave; no lapdog media at all, thus no willful ignorance as it spreads Big Lie delusions; no nitwits, halfwits, dimwits to repeat such ignorant attitudes, and its undermining of Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest. Gratefully, there would also be no colossally vapid creatures know as Kasdashians.

So, hey, it could be better by knowing it could be even worse.


Zeldar from Zardoz, capturing so-called “blogosphere” transmission. Zeldar still unable to process Mountain Sphere’s indigenous life form’s intelligence level. Maximus XL analytic capacitor now digesting and decoding It Could Be Worse “posting” which by mentioning–yet again as with all previous Zeldar observational visitations–a Sixth Mass Extinction triggered by algorhythmic alert. Posting confuses Zeldar and Zardoz Command. Mountain Sphere noted as being now approximately 4.5 billion years in existence, with seeming lack of logical sequencing as to its advancement beyond slime creature phase to organisms referred to as Orange Blob, George Orwell, and Kardashians. Analysis not able to define meaning of posting. Zeldar continues to probe Mountain Sphere in hopes of answers, but A.I. systems again revert to red-line warning as Mountain Sphere gibberish is height of linguistic outputs. Mountain Sphere inhabitants defy logical cause and effects, thus rendering Zeldar’s missions as repeating a virtual short-circuiting of Maximus XL wiring. Zeldar having to repeatedly obtain wiring upgrade following Sphere data input, including jibberish such as “batshit crazy,” SNAFU and FUBAR. Analytic capacitor using all its acceptor atoms, autotransformers, bipolar junction transistors, input impedance circuit resistors, phase-shift oscillators, rectangular waves, and Zener diodes in effort to ascertain intellectual quantification. Zeldar not holding A.I. breath.

Zeldar and Zardoz command both now trapped in A.I version of so-called cognitive dissonance after these many visits to Mountain Sphere. Command calling Zeldar back to base, where blog post will also be analyzed by Zardozian Committee to Confirm Credible Lifeforms of Deep Space. Zeldar assumes Zardoz Committee not “toothless”, as with Sphere’s alleged status. Will report finding at a later date. Blogger may be A.I. asset. Either confirm Sphere’s impending doom, or at least be source of Zadoz Committe reacting with A.I. output laughter.

About jharrin4

mass communication/speech instructor at College of DuPage and Triton College in suburban Chicago. Army veteran of the Viet Nam era.
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