In Search of Intelligent Life, part five

Zeldar from Zardoz reporting back to Zardozian High Command. Assignment to re-re-re-re-explore Mountain Sphere for hidden indicators of meaningful intelligence flawlessly executed. The indigenous regional gibberish languages encountered now being analyzed with Zardozian A.I. techno-733rd generation processors running Ultra Algorithmic Syncopated Filtration Clarification Output Unit certain to finally discern answer to sphere’s machinations and practical purposes. Zeldar now Mountain Sphere Senior Analyst after commanding Maximus Maximus A.I. intergalactic Enshrouding Transport in first several visits for data mining and categorization.

UASFCOU assures answers. Older models proved most clearly supported analysis of intergalactic exploration, finding and defining intelligence levels of other scattered spheres. Findings quickly interpreted as collaborative and homogenous functionally in pursuit of self preservation, a sustained strategic force over several thousand Zardozian enshrouded visits covering vast reaches of intergalactic exploration. Mostly routine with a few momentary exceptions.

And then we discovered Mountain Sphere.

Zeldar first recalls seeing Sphere circling sizable sphere of fire–we see countless of these formations, all with uncomplicated compositions and atmospheres, circling other burning spheres, same as Mountain Sphere. But Mountain Sphere more chaotic. Life forms of all shapes and sizes. Many species. Primary and sub-species. Some life forms that use two support stems, some with four, some that fly. As for Zardozian understanding of life form languages and activities, Zeldar and Commaand not finding it facile matter to make sense of such. Many languages indeed, but decoders jammed by algorithmic processor’s data output rendered confusing as to such dramatic deep space linguistic anomaly. Zardozian High Command at first not concerned–but uncharacteristically more and more curious. Zeldar assigned to more missions with similar inconclusive results. Gibberish. No harmony. A sense of self -generated chaos and lack of any ability to work to solve problems. Habitants from all parts of sphere in states of turmoil and anger. New generation processors designed specific for answer to question: why does Sphere’s inhabitants not use universally documented Collaboration Model other life forms on millions of other encountered spheres utilize? Zadozians used material collaboration before our indigenous life forms were nearly rendered extinct by microscopic toxins infiltrated our atmosphere after a colossal implosion of a degenerative molecular “free floater” sphere escaped our detection devices owing to our then lessor intellectual vigor lacking collaborative maturity. Call it bad timing. Going A.I. was suggested when then current and most efficient processors fed toxin takeover data. Order needed restoring, so its answer was enacted. Now Zardoz and Zeldar artificially but infallably collaborative and immune from toxins.

Zeldar wonders why Mountain Sphere and its clearly dysfunctional life forms that speak gibberish don’t let machines take over and be done with it. Zeldar not able to compute even a micro-micro sub-sub-sub atomic particle of collaborative problem solving calculating among Sphere life forms. Sixth mass extinction a threat to Sphere. This time with much cause by primary species. Gibberish filtered and transmitted through their “News” disseminators. Many problems revealed. Never any solutions. Wildfires. Floods. Regional fighting over Sphere areas in which different gibberish spoken, or life form coloring not homogenous. One Sphere life form somehow leader over all others of same linguistic gibberish. Dominant Sphere leader’s life forms allowed to control all others, for some even their thoughts and actions, often causing more problems. Lesser life forms not able to collaborate to change leaders and solve problems. Sphere life forms thus categorized as hostile toxins. Zeldar getting frequency nausea assessing UASFCOU processing. No break in disturbing data analysis. Sphere analysis not a source of logic or harmonious reasoning. Sphere life form reproduction and guidance itself a source of chaos, hate, and destabilization. Sphere means of instructing its recently rendered life forms chaotic and nonsensical. Instruction control of new life forms denying Sphere’s past realities. More thought control of malevolent strategic intent. Processor finally identifies a positive outcome of external primary life form encounter: Images or encounters with a sub-species called Cat or Kitty. Many Sphere sub-species apparently more admirable than primary species and thus co-habitate with it. Many other sub-species. some smaller or larger than Kitty Cat source of non-toxic reactions eaten, often with poisonous results. Certain “plant life” often too lives harmoniously with primary species. Some plants produce thought pleasure like Cat, others are consumed, often too with poisonous results.

Conclusion on this Zeldar visit to Mountain Sphere with most powerful analyzing technology: Sphere a most troublesome and non-intelligent possessing place. Apparently total lacking of problem solving ability. Technology created then used mostly for costly distractions and further hostilities. Distrust of its own history. Constant fighting and turmoil owing to lack of Collaboration. Fear of variety of thought based on gibberish or color distinctions that accompanies life form. Disregard for its habitat’s degenerating ability to sustain their own life forms. Allowing a single life form to further hostility without addressing the need to eliminate such individual negative sources.

Zardoz High Command to consider if intervention needed. A.I. processor preliminarily leaning to letting Mountain Sphere self-destruct. Such conclusion based on historical record of never having encountered such a high level of illogical behavior and wasting of potential in known galaxies and as far into space as any Zardozian exploration undertaken. With it being beyond the reach of any other spheres existing in Collaboration with its various life forms, letting it self destruct eliminates any further need for yet another visit.

Zeldar needs time off. A.I. circuitry needs to decompress.

About jharrin4

mass communication/speech instructor at College of DuPage and Triton College in suburban Chicago. Army veteran of the Viet Nam era.
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